I don't know what to title this.

Hello again guys. I feel like I have to let these feelings out. Lately I have been thinking a lot in terms of streams and I've been feeling pretty melancholy towards streaming. You'd think streaming would be as simple as just playing a game with an extra program running. Well yes, it is as simple as that, but for me it's always been something different. About 7 years ago when I started streaming I was amazed at the thought that people could watch me play games and talk to me as if they were in the same room as me. Streaming literally changed my life. Back then I was so open with how I streamed and chat would just be hustling and bustling. I used to talk all the time during my streams and read text out loud and the works. Also used to be in Ventrilo/Mumble all the time and let anyone talk in it during my streams. It was only around 2 years ago it kinda stopped. My last two years of streaming have been a roller coaster. I believe the reason I'm not as vibrant as I used to be is because at one point in time I was told that 'being myself' was annoying and the person who told this to me used to be important to me. I honestly never came across the thought of annoying anyone in my streams. I've always just seen people being happy. The thought of annoying viewers overpowered what made streaming really fun for me. Ever since then I've sorta followed a "good streaming etiquiette" that I just made up. It's not fun and deep down I don't like it, but for whatever reason I can't go back to the way I used to be even though that "important" person is gone from my life.

I really have no order of typing all this out. I'm just letting all my feelings out. Anyways, as I said before my last 2 years of streaming have not been the greatest. I feel really bad for not talking as much because I'd like for my viewers to be entertained more if they are going to use their time to watch me. These days chat is pretty quiet and that's even before my new night schedule. It's probably my fault for not trying to interact with everyone more? I really don't know what to do for improvement anymore. So originally I left twitch because they started doing things like the 20 second delay and muting VODs. I also moved to hitbox in hopes for that feeling of when I started streaming for the first time again and meet new people. After a year of hitbox it's been the same. Chat is quiet unless something ridiculous is going on. I may have gained over 800 followers but I have not made one new friendship directly from hitbox. Thinking about it is depressing. I love hitbox and all the things available from it but it seems like the hitbox community wasn't as promising as I thought. (As in I didn't meet anyone. I'm not trying to say the community sucks! Hitbox viewerbase also seems to be on the Non-American side.)

I have been thinking about trying to stream on twitch for a set time and see how it goes. I want to finish Corpse Party and Disgaea 5 on hitbox though so after that I can try twitch. I don't know if I'll actually do it, I guess it depends on how I feel after I beat those two games. Whatever the case may be I just want to have fun again in the end. I've probably let things get in my head and I really shouldn't worry about these things so much. Sorry if I've worried anyone.

It's nothing you did I am just far too busy to tune into streams now cause of work and college

I say do whatever you want to do, and if someone thinks it's annoying then they're not really worth having around anyway. Why censor yourself for the sake of people that wouldn't really like you anyway?

And what, no new friends from hitbox? PERSONALLY I AM EXTREMELY OFFENDED BY THIS STATEMENT.

Epilogic wrote:It's nothing you did I am just far too busy to tune into streams now cause of work and college

Well I'm not saying "Wow, I can't believe you aren't coming to my stream anymore!". This is more of a personal thing. I understand people can get busy. Life is hard.

Koden wrote:I say do whatever you want to do, and if someone thinks it's annoying then they're not really worth having around anyway. Why censor yourself for the sake of people that wouldn't really like you anyway?

And what, no new friends from hitbox? PERSONALLY I AM EXTREMELY OFFENDED BY THIS STATEMENT.

KODEN YOU DON'T COUNT. YOU JUST MAKE FUN OF MY ANIME. No but really, don't take that personally. I mean new friends on a more personal level. We're cool but it's not like I've told you my life story.

But yeah, that person was a big mistake in my life and that's all gone now, thank goodness.

Lemstar wrote:

Well put.

WanderingWlf wrote:KODEN YOU DON'T COUNT. YOU JUST MAKE FUN OF MY ANIME.

I make fun because I care!

I'll support you in any way that I can. I remember the old days and even when we first met when I was SOOOORTA stalking you on RO. Those were really good times. I remember all the silly things we've done like that one time we did a MMO week where we played a different MMO together. That ended when we played Mabinogi and I got stuck on it for a few years. Ahhh so much reminiscing but I'm going a little off topic here.

But yeah! If you're finding yourself not enjoying how you're streaming now,  you should try something new and find something that you like. Don't limit yourself because of what that certain person said. Expand your horizons! Become the person you want to be!etcetcetcfinish VNs

Linohlyn wrote:I remember the old days and even when we first met when I was SOOOORTA stalking you on RO. Those were really good times.

"....WHAT!? YOU'RE A GIRL!?" /youngwlf


AHAHAHAHAHA.

WanderingWlf wrote:

Linohlyn wrote:I remember the old days and even when we first met when I was SOOOORTA stalking you on RO. Those were really good times.

"....WHAT!? YOU'RE A GIRL!?"  /youngwlf


AHAHAHAHAHA.

I still laugh about that. I can't believe that's the first thing you said to me.

I agree